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my road to understanding my worth during quarantine by hadleigh swarts

by victoria larkins |

My road to understanding my worth during quarantine ⌇written by Hadleigh Swarts

The idea of living with intention has always been a very prevalent concept to me but I think this is becoming more clear in the wake of our current situation. In the fall of 2018 I had my amethyst naked gem necklace placed above my heart chakra and below my throat chakra to serve as a constant reminder to live with intention in mind. At the time I settled on the intention of being resilient. During this time I was overcoming specific hardships but entering a phase where I acknowledged that the hardships were not over and in order to not succumb to these obstacles I needed to harness resilience.

The idea behind Sankalpa is that once your gem falls off, your intention has resonated. Although I still bear the same gem from 2018, our intention can resonate and evolve into something more that we need in the present moment. I believe the idea of resilience was the start of unmasking what I truly need and that this intention was waiting to reveal itself in the perfect moment.  

While attempting to continue to honor myself during these trying times I found myself in the first weeks of being confined at home in the mindset of ensuring I was staying physically healthy. This came from a flight or fight response as we are quick to assess whether or not the exterior of the machine is working but tend to dismiss the internal functions. This completely came to a change when I started implementing ‘The Class by Taryn Toomey’ into my daily routine. This is a practice that focuses on the heart while incorporating meditation and physical movement that frees the body of the confines of discomfort. I quickly realized that if your mind is healthy especially during a time like this then your body will reciprocate. 

Just this week, I reached a pivotal moment when it comes to being true to your intention. After a particularly emotionally draining week, I started my Sunday with The Class. While meditating after my practice I found myself unexpectedly emotional as I thought about my intention. What I thought was a need for resilience turned into something so much more. I’ve now settled on a new intention that I think we all can relate to. Worthiness. We are worthy of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. We are worthy of all of the goodness and love in the world. We live in a time where we are quick to criticize ourselves and not acknowledge how worthy we truly are. Rather than allowing negative influences to tell us we aren’t deserving of the good in the world, we must practice self-love to reassure ourselves that we are indeed worthy of all the love that surrounds us. 

 

The change from resilience to worthiness is a matter of softening ourselves. Resilience is this act of standing strong whereas there is a softness and ease that comes with knowing your worth. There is an immense amount of bliss I’ve found myself overcome with as I am growing to understand my worth which is something no one but yourself can reassure you of.  Selentine and both clear and rose quartz are what I think can help us harness this. Selentine helps us tap into the goodness around us while clear quartz brings the body into the balance we need during this time and rose quartz allows us to be open to receiving love. Honoring where these practices come from and how natural materials can help us connect to our intentions on a deeper level is something I have found myself more committed to especially as this time offers us a moment of self reflection. 

For so long I was set on needing to feel that my intention would resonate and that I could suddenly move onto the next thing. Intention is all about evolving as what we need is constantly changing. This is a great time to let go of what doesn’t serve us and finally acknowledge how worthy we are of what DOES serve us.

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